Happily Ever After

iStock_000010831816_LargeIt can be difficult to imagine amongst the excitement of the wedding preparations that you might be a little nervous about marriage. Whilst your pending marriage and planning for your wedding are all equally important, the foundations you lay for your marriage should be built with strong intentions and a collaboration of shared goals so you journey down the same road together.  What will make your marriage successful and long lasting? What are the key ingredients that keep a marriage cooking long after the lights would appear to go out?Every relationship has characteristics and qualities that enable couples to enjoy the good time and embrace the adversities you will face together in life. A willingness to create balance whilst remaining open to change are some of the key elements to having a successful marriage.

It is important to understand that every relationship will have challenges, but how are you going to respond to those challenges should they arise? It is not about playing the blame game, but working together toward the end result. Understanding the love you both share is imperative.  Have you ever reflected on your capacity to love and the depth to which you love your partner? Where would you be without your partner in your life? These can be tough questions, but very effective for you to establish the depth of your love.

From the moment we come into this world, we have relied on others to love and accept us unconditionally.  This kind of love is what we continue to seek as we grow through our lives.  It is ironic isn’t it, that this simple need in us all can give us such wonderful moments of bliss, yet can create an emotional roller-coaster when our expectations we place on our partners and ourselves are not been met.

It is these expectations we have of others, to fulfil our own need for love, that turn our fantasy of what we want to believe, into the reality of what actually is….Our own lack of self love and the little or no self worth we have for our own uniqueness, which creates the emotional waves of disappointment in most relationships.

Understanding that we are not perfect, you’re not perfect, and your partner is not perfect. Your partner is there to assist you in finding your own pathway in life and you achieve this when you look deep within and connect with yourself.

When we truly connect with another, we can become one with each other and work in harmony, lovingly supporting ourselves and our partner, your hearts open in awareness together and all the little imperfections that we are presented with give us the opportunity to awaken ourselves to the incredible people that we are.

Love should not be based upon need, as need breeds insecurities and these create conflict and breakdowns in communication.

It is important that you learn how to speak with one another and listen, validation for your partner and yourself within the relationship keeps the doors open to intimacy.

Intimacy is the cornerstone for any marriage.  It is more than sex, it is the sacred place you create to give of yourself physically and emotionally.

Your relationship needs to become a priority in your life. Equal amounts of energy have to go into making it happen. Just as you tend work,  family, friends or the day to day responsibilities of life, quality time spent together is the key ingredient for a lasting relationship.

Here are some of my favourite tips for keeping it cooking.

  1. Take a few moments everyday to acknowledge and validate your partner. A compliment goes a long way.
  2. Romantic foreplay, flirt with your partner via text messages, email or phone.
  3. At least once a week honour your partner by doing something special for them. Remembering this special time is for giving the gift of love without wanting anything in return.
  4. Every night take the time to embrace each other. We all need to be touched and it will keep you connected.

Being intimate is more than just in the bedroom. True intimacy is in the little things you do for each other that create memorable moments that will last a lifetime.

Stay spontaneous, be of service to your relationship and remain open to giving and receiving love. Once you have created healthy habits in your relationship your partner will be the love of your life, you have always desired.

Our belief systems have been instilled within us from a very young age and it doesn’t matter what you choose to belief, whether it is a particular denomination, Buddhism, Hinduism, Gnostic, New Age or Atheist, it is important to accept that you may have different views around spirituality and life, how you choose to impart your beliefs will be the key to how it affects your relationship, so be mindful that you may not believe in the same things and that it is okay to think and feel differently and your partner does not have to take your view, it is a personal choice, not a choice reflected on how they feel about you.

Love is the fuel that keeps the world turning and in the end none of our accomplishments will mean as much if they are not created from love.  Choose to create a marriage based on empowering one another.  Give and receive openly and remember to celebrate the love you both share daily.  Conceive it, believe it, and you will achieve it.

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