“When you open yourself up to a conscious relationship, you choose for your highest self the opportunity to evolve into the divine potential within. Your relationship is one of the hardest paths you will travel in life. One of immense growth and it is often the one we struggle with the most. Let’s be honest it is hard to show kindness and compassion when your partner is projecting frustration and anger. Dive deep into your inner wellspring and you will see that your partner’s pain is a gift for change and we have to look beyond the wrapping to see what is inside.”
Hello Beautiful Souls…
If you feel that your relationship is at the crossroads and it needs direction to choose a path, then it is time to ask for guidance. You are in a vulnerable place and an open space where your reality manifests itself into pain and suffering.
There are four stages your relationship will go through when it is in a suffering state of being, before it moves into what I call a “loveless lock down” . This is where you shut down and lock all your emotional and physical doors to feeling and experiencing love. It is where your relationship begins to scream out for attention and the love you once felt has disguised itself in expectations, denial, blame and loneliness. You are disconnected from yourself and your partner, and you feel a sense of hopelessness for the love you once share with each other.
The Expectation Stage
This stage is the beginning where you have become disconnected from each other, time poor, distracted, a lack of fun, loss of identity, always giving but you feel that it is not reciprocated, nothing you do feels that it is ever enough and your level of communication is built on the premise of nagging.
The Denial Stage
In this stage of the relationship you will experience a lack of self worth, you being to trade off or barter (I will do this for you, if you do this for me), you feel empty and you have nothing left to give. You being to curse your partner, and you have thoughts of leaving.
The Blame Stage
You have begun to withhold intimately and you have emotionally shut down. You keep score, you are resentful, you may have flirted with the idea of someone else, you may become emotionally and physically abusive and you feel like you are owed something.
The Alone Stage
You feel helplessness and hopelessness. Sometimes this can affect you physically with a sense of feeling sick, you can feel the financial strain, depressed and you feel that you are existing just to survive rather than living your life together. You have completely disconnected from your partner, family and friends, you feel scared and confused, lonely with a deep sense of sadness.
Our natural tendency in a relationship is to see what we want to see not necessarily what the truth is. In a relationship you have two people, who see two different things. The relationship is thrown off balance and we would rather escape, than stay present moment to moment. It is important to remember as your relationship grows, the choices you make create the path you take and the reflection in the mirror is your teacher. All you have to do is be ready to see the truth.
I am asking you…how do you choose to be loved?
I can assure you that you are not alone. To love and to be loved is the one common thread that links us all together. If you are connected with that special person, can they or are they really loving you the way you truly want to be loved? More often than not the answer to these questions is that people do not really know how they would choose to be loved, because they simply want someone to lovingly accept them for who they are.
In order to find peace in the relationship and within yourself, you first must understand why there is suffering and where it has manifested. You will need to look at how it was created and through changing the way we perceive how love should be, you learn to love what is through compassion, kindness and acceptance. For in acceptance you will see into the heart of your partner, connect deeply into each other and truly understand the way of love and how you choose to experience it.
Over the past 25 years I have helped hundreds of couples and individuals connect into a sustaining love fulfilled life, whether that is with themselves or their partner. All of us have a desire at some point for an inspiring love, to share life with and walk together deeply, intimately, in a heart felt connection with MORE LOVE, MORE JOY, AND MORE INTIMACY…
You deserve that too…